I cried when we said goodbye to Anne, and I’ve started tearing up several times when we’ve been talking about leaving, but last night I had my first real crying fest. It was weird because we had such a great day at our tutoring party yesterday, but I think the fact that it was a “farewell” party finally caught up with me as I was lying in bed. Thinking about leaving and how there’s nothing I can do to change the sadness that is about to happen, just hit me. I took time to just cry and be sad, and I kept thinking about that Bible passage Romans 8:26-27 “In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God’s will.” It’s been so hard for me to know what to pray for. I want to stay in Africa so badly; it’s where my heart is; it’s my home; but now I’m returning to the States to Lord-willing receive a call on Saturday, so there are lots of emotions involved with that as well. As I was crying last night, it was like crying out to God with groans and tears, begging for trust that His will for my life will be done. He knows the desires of my heart and he himself will intercede for me with his own groans that words cannot even express. And the awesome thing about knowing the Spirit is interceding for me, is knowing that he intercedes in accordance with God’s will, whereas my prayers are often driven by my selfish nature.
This morning we had 4 ladies for English: Sarah, Regina, Kaluwa, and Monica. We had a super fun day! We played Pictionary/charades for the first part and there was so much laughing! Then we finished up with a PowerPoint on America and what we’ll be doing when we go back to America. We finished class early, since it was our last “official” one. It was such a surreal feeling knowing I won’t be teaching all the ladies anymore. It made me really sad, but today was the perfect, fun way to end.
After English we did a quick errand for Dee and then met up with her to go into town. We’ve been wanting to go to Kabwata for a while, and she took us today. It’s right in downtown Lusaka where people used to live in their huts. When the city began to do more building they tore town all the little villages but wanted to preserve one to remember the history. So now they still have huts there and you can go and buy curios and paintings. It’s like the market at the Arcades on Sunday. It was fun—I got some more things. It’s hard not to go crazy because I want to buy many things but I kept thinking about the weight limit of my suitcase so that stopped me from buying more.
When we got home we had sausage and eggs for lunch and then got to packing. I finished up packing up all our teaching materials and supplies and labeling the boxes for the next group. Then I moved on to my own stuff. It took me less than an hour to pack all my stuff! And it was so weird because everything fit in my suitcases piece of cake. In fact, the 2 big suitcases I have are only half full. How’d that happen? I have less stuff going back than I did coming here and I’ve bought so much stuff since I’ve been here. I think it helped that I traded some clothes and I kept all the teaching materials here. So now I need to go buy more stuff to fill in the rest of the suitcases so the stuff doesn’t jostle around in them with all the empty space. What a fun problem to have. Now I just need to make sure the weight limit is OK, which is my task for tomorrow.
After packing we headed over to campus to give Bridgette a thank you card and picture to give to Charity. We also got to play with our munchkins for a few minutes because they were just finishing preschool and were outside playing. I’m going to miss having the kids hang off my legs and arms like I’m their jungle gym. I have felt so loved by these children!
We had to cut the playing short because we wanted to run up to the little store to get some juice for our ladies’ party tomorrow. That was a quick little walk and we enjoyed the warm sun. Made me think I should lie out and enjoy the African sun one last time. Maybe I’ll have a few minutes to do that tomorrow.
After the trip to the shop we watched the kids play a game for a while. It was sort of like a mini game of dodge ball. The bigger kids were playing and the little ones were watching. So we sat next to the little kids like Jeffter, Miriam and Maggie. Maggie came right up to me to snuggle in my lap. Again, it melts my heart. She is the cutest little girl ever, but I feel like I say that about all of these children. Erika had fun making little Miriam giggle. Dee came over with all the volleyball stuff so we headed over to play. We only had Kaluwa, George, and Hastings come as far as students and their wives go, so we had lots of kids playing instead. It was fun playing with the kids this time, although it would have also been nice to play with our ladies one last time. I think they all had a function at church or something and that’s why they weren’t there.
Pastor and Mrs. Hartmann arrived here in Lusaka today. They came because Pastor had some meetings and they’re going to stay through tomorrow to come to our farewell dinner, which we are very happy about.
After volleyball we had supper which was kind of pathetic. Rice with a tiny bit of chicken and some wilty vegetables. We’re trying to use up some of the groceries we still have without having to buy more. To compensate we just added lots of garlic to everything so it was a very garlicy supper as well. Then we got to cleaning the house. We didn’t want to leave it a complete mess for Dee to clean up so we dusted and swept and tried to organize things we need to return to people. It always helps doing this kind of work with the music blaring. J
To end the night Erika started looking up things for us to do in London. I think a lot of walking to see the sights is in store for us. I think it’ll be fun once we’re there but right now it’s hard to get excited for London knowing that it means I have to leave Zambia first. One day at a time with prayers to God for strength.
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